Reflections on the ‘real America’ from inside the Seattle bubble

(Photo from Flickr by Peter Guthrie)
(Photo from Flickr by Peter Guthrie)

Last August, I was sent on a business trip to do education consulting work in a small town in rural Louisiana.

As I picked up my rental car around 8:30pm and started to drive, a lightning storm swept through the dark skies. My heart beat quickly as I realized I had never been to this part of America. I was intrigued, albeit a little nervous, as you can imagine. I am a South Asian woman who has spent my life in cities like Chicago, New York, Washington D.C. and Seattle.

In the months since that trip, we’ve witnessed some of the most divisive politics this country has seen in a long time. We’re hearing a lot about how our identities define who we are and how we vote — even identities we might not know we had.

For instance, I didn’t know until last month that I am now part of the ‘Democratic urban elite.’ And there is a disenfranchised rural group who I’m told I should have increased empathy for. I’m being told by some that I live in a bubble, one that doesn’t represent the ‘real America.’

Demographically, the town in Louisiana where I spent time is 70 percent white, 25 percent black, and 5 percent other races. The median income for a family is $33,000.

I’ve had the privilege of traveling to many places in this world, but my biases surprisingly began to emerge as I headed down South. My experience with this part of the country came from books, movies and historical events. I had created my interpretation of a vast region based on an amalgamation of images from To Kill a Mockingbird, Grapes of Wrath, Roots, Jim Crow laws and the Civil War. Heading to Louisiana, I was apprehensive about racism and closed-minded people.

“The more you know about another person’s story, the less possible it is to see that person as your enemy,” — Parker Palmer

These fears dissipated when I met my school district contact. She was a warm and gregarious white woman who exuded love and had an incredible sense of humor. What is it about the human connection that relieves us of anxiety? The next two days felt purposeful. We worked with 50 school leaders on challenges facing their students, the same ones experienced by students across this country. Twenty-one percent of all children in the United States are living in poverty: 15 million children. In Louisiana alone, there are 293,000 children living in poverty.

We worked on ways to support teachers to grow in their practice and better serve their students. I was inspired. These people were committed to the cause of helping children and their teachers. This was not a political issue (as much as we often politicize education), this was a human issue. We came together because of a common vision.

During a break, I spoke to one person about the nearby rice paddies that her family owned and worked. My memory went straight to the rice fields behind my grandmother’s home in Kerala, India. Even though thousands of miles separate them, I started to see similarities between the people who worked those fields in Louisiana and the ones in Kerala – people who do backbreaking work every day to survive and provide for their families.

My parents both grew up in small towns in Kerala. When I was younger, my mother would tell me often about how she went to school with Muslims, Christians, Jewish, and Hindu students and how she loved having friends from different backgrounds. On a political level, Kerala represented a successful vision of religious pluralism. That made it an anomaly — a bubble itself — within the larger country that had experienced  religion-based violence during Partition.

(Photo from Flickr by Mathieu Schoutteten)
(Photo from Flickr by Mathieu Schoutteten)

In the month following the U.S. election, there were over a thousand bias-related incidents reported around the country.

I keep reading about how people feel misunderstood and forgotten on all sides, and wondering, “How did we get to this place? Are people’s biases becoming their truths? When did we lose our ability to connect to each other?”

I refuse to believe the sudden spate of irrational behavior — from hate crimes to unwillingness to engage in open-hearted dialogue — reflects people’s true nature. We see people acting out in hateful ways because of the fear and anxiety that have been triggered in them.

I recently listened to an interview Krista Tippett did with Civil Rights leader Vincent Harding. “How do we work together? How do we talk together in ways that will open up our best capacities and our best gifts?” he asked. “My own feeling … is that when it comes to creating a multiracial, multiethnic, multi-religious, democratic society, we are still a developing nation.”

I long to create this democratic society Vincent Harding describes. But I’m scared that there is a growing and influential group of people who don’t.

It feels like we are losing the common vision that brings us together as Americans. When we don’t interact with each other or try to understand each other on a deeper level, when we hate each other because of what we represent, when we don’t want to heal, but we want to blame, we are getting into dangerous territory.

(Photo by Sheeba Jacob)
(Photo by Sheeba Jacob)

On my flight home from Louisiana, I remember thinking to myself, ‘Wow, my fears were off base.’ I realized that my experience in the South helped to change some of my perceptions. I’d made connections with and learned from people with whom I normally wouldn’t interact. I felt a growing bond with a group of people that went beyond my typical universe of obligation. We cared about children, and our belief in education brought us together.

I’m sure that if we had talked more, we would have disagreed on certain issues. But I want to believe that the initial bond that connected us would help us really listen to each other.

“The more you know about another person’s story, the less possible it is to see that person as your enemy,” Parker Palmer explains in his book, Healing the Heart of Democracy: The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit.

When I have children, I dream about telling them that the country we live in mirrors the pluralism of my mother’s Kerala.

But if we are a developing nation, as Vincent Harding stated, we have a lot of work to do in order to build the America that fulfills that dream.

I don’t want to run away from this hard work, even though the divide can seem so insurmountable these days. I am weary of leaders who create ‘us’ versus ‘them’ dichotomies. We have too much history behind us to believe these dichotomies ever end up in anything good. We need spiritual leaders. We need to confront our fears so we can heal. We need compassion. We need to protect the next generation of children.

For now, I think we just keep trying to interact as humanely as possible with everyone who comes our way, listening with an open heart. The America I know is full of decent human beings who wake up every day trying to be the best we can be.

Isn’t that the ‘real America?’


  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Sheeba. I loved this thought: “It feels like we are losing the common vision that brings us together as Americans. When we don’t interact with each other or try to understand each other on a deeper level, when we hate each other because of what we represent, when we don’t want to heal, but we want to blame, we are getting into dangerous territory.”

  2. “It feels like we are losing the common vision that brings us together as Americans.”

    Yes, and that degradation started in the 80’s with the rise of the Evangelical right wing. Before that time, you could find common ground between political parties, religious groups, ethnic groups, and even some stringent ideologies. Even hippies & Republicans used to get along (at Grateful Dead shows, anyway)

    After Evangelical Christians started voting in (near) lock-step, that all changed. That rise in power nearly parallels the rise of radical political Islam – Hezbollah, al-Qaeda, Hamas, etc.

    Conversation was replaced by condemnation. Understanding was subverted by fearmongering. The notion of consensus was just fine for the Evangelical Christian, just so long as you met their litmus tests and had already accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior… and your personal political battering ram.

    The major difference between the western religious right and the so-called Islamic State in the east is that our warriors use the ballot box instead of bullets and bombs. Otherwise, all the same dogmatism and mythology is there to poison minds and create a pervasive victim’s complex among followers.

    Unfortunately, this reactionary strain of Christianity not going away anytime soon, especially so long as radical political Islam continues to dominate the news, and its cult-like followers continue to prey upon innocent souls across the globe. The two similar fringe ends of the same ideological religious spectrum feed off each other and make each other stronger.

    We may need spiritual leaders, but right now those important voices are completely drowned out by the hardcore religious zealots. The zealots also have a lot more guns, money and media attention on their side.

    There is little to nothing we can do about the influence dogmatic religion has on the rest of the world. But we can influence change here at home. There is a small off-shoot of brave, sane, tolerant New Testament Evangelicals who split off from the Trump-worshipping 85% a couple months back.

    Liberals and progressives should be talking to those outcasts to find common ground.

    Because we are not going to see any open hearts in Steve Bannon, Newt Gingrich or Mike Pence. Or any of Trump’s other “spiritual advisers”

    Thank you for taking the time to write this thoughtful commentary.

    1. Sheba, thank you, this is a very well done piece. I am a long-time resident of South Seattle, (first Garlic Gulch for 7 yrs, now Beacon Hill for 32). When we moved to the South End, young, white, working/middle class, we were welcomed with open arms and the practice that neighbors care for and about each other. As I have watched our
      Chinese-, Japanese- SE Asian-, Italian-, all-American neighbors pass on and their children move away I see new, younger, mostly white, relatively wealthy new people move into our neighborhood. They aren’t used to our neighborhood customs of care and concern but it is my responsibility and serious duty to “school them up” and teach them, as I was taught by my neighbors who have passed, two simple rules we follow: 1.) the Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated and 2.) we are all in this together. And those two rules are more important than ever.

      @Alex, I’m very curious about the “small off-shoot of brave, sane, tolerant New Testament Evangelicals” you wrote about. How would I find info about them?

  3. Yes, of course there are some nice people everywhere but you have to look at the numbers here, most of them are just not. Smart, urban people who are employable in the 21st Century job market did nothing wrong here. Democrats have tried to throw then every life line they can to help educate and bring these part s of the country into today’s times but they all want it to be 1950 again with medium wage labor jobs, that are gone the way agricultural age is gone. They want high to medium wage jobs without an education, it isn’t going to happen and they’re willing to throw anyone under the bus for $20 an hour. You can not be a decent person and support Trump. For articles like this they call us snowflakes and mock that we’re just whinning and crying because “they won,” like it’s some WWF rally. Clinton was 100% right. These people are deplorable and despicable, hopelessly so. They might be nice to your face, but if it was up to them, the world would be a monoculture, they would throw immigrants back to places they’ve never been and hostile regimes, and we would be rounding up people in the night and taking them from their homes and it would get worse from there. Give up this liberal, they call libertard idea that the country is better than this. Vast amounts of people are not better than this. This thinking is what got Trump into office and if we keep believing it it will keep him there.

  4. Thanks for this powerful reflection, Sheeba, and the reference to Krista Tippett’s interview with my dad. You might be interested to know more about the organization my parents — Vincent and Rosemarie Harding — founded: The Veterans of Hope Project.

    The mission of the project is to help inspire the ongoing work of creating a healthy, just, inclusive, multiracial democracy in the USA and our website features interviews with a number of elder community organizers (from the US and abroad) who combine spirituality and social justice activism in their work. Your readers might enjoy knowing about our resources for teachers and activists too. Peace!

  5. Thank you all, and especially The Seattle Globalist, for your insightful and thought provoking comments on this very painful subject. I look forward to hearing more from my favorite news source on this subject as we go forward.

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